I like to write about things that most people relate to
since I think people have a lot more in common than not. Plumbing may not be
the most exciting topic on earth, but many of us have a tale or two about
Plumbing Gone Wrong so I might as well share our story.
Plumbing is something I rarely think about, and I like it
that way! I’m grateful to live in a time and place in which plumbing is
available to me. I’m glad it’s there—but I don’t spend much time contemplating
it.
Until there’s a problem.
You, too? I thought so.
The story really starts more than half a century ago, since
that is when our plumbing pipes were installed. Our darling little house was
born in 1956, along with a set of gleaming new pipes, tucked cozily below a
warm layer of earth. America was booming. San Diego was thriving, and new
houses were being built to accommodate growing families. The sun shone down on
our happy city. Kids played hopscotch and jacks, Mom pulled perfect pot roasts
out of a shiny new oven, and Dad planted trees with the help of friendly
neighbors. The trees grew, the kids grew, and the city grew too.
The trees grew a lot, apparently. So much so that giant
roots formed under the streets. As birds chirped and bees buzzed in the warm air, below ground the roots
silently grew into the plumbing pipes under the street. But no one knew…
Many decades later, a man living in this cozy 1956 house
(we’ll call him Hubby) heard a strange noise coming from one of the bathrooms.
(Strange noises from bathrooms are never, ever
good.) Bewildered, he entered the
bathroom just in time to see a tidal wave of water shooting out of the toilet
and onto the tile floor and the bedroom carpet a few feet away. He quickly
grabbed every towel within reach, and then more towels from the hall closet. Hubby
is a very handy guy and has remedied plumbing surprises before. But he knows when the surprises are too mysterious for
him to tackle on his own, and when that’s the case he knows which plumbing
company to call. They came, made a lot of noise, and things seemed to be
better.
But a few days later they returned to check something out in
the front yard. (This is where my lack of plumbing knowledge will become very
apparent but bear with me and you’ll get the general vibe of this tale.) An
important pipe was somewhere in the front yard, deep, deep underground. So the
plumbers dug a hole. It became wider and deeper and still the hidden pipe was
nowhere to be found. The hole became so deep that they had to put yellow Caution tape around it, to prevent
someone from falling in. As the sun set they promised to return the next day to
do more work. Luckily, we still had use of the toilets, and we now had an
exciting exhibit in our front yard—something that looked like a paleontology
dig. The hole was certainly big enough to fit an intact skeleton of a baby
Tyrannosaurus Rex! Anyway, the plumbers vowed to return the next day to finish
up. They laid a big piece of plywood across the cavernous hole before I reached
for my camera. I take photos of my life and this scene deserved a photo. Who
knew? Maybe there was a blog piece in this. Although my photo does not show the
bathtub-sized hole they dug, you can see how much dirt was displaced.
Seeing some potential humor in the photo, I decided to make
a sign to attach to the Caution tape.
The next day the plumbers returned and started work again.
Later, they told me that my sign made them laugh. Poor guys, sweating in the
sun, digging a hole to China—they deserved a laugh. But Hubby wasn’t exactly
laughing because plumbing situations are not cheap to repair. Unfortunately there
seems to be an inverse relationship between the fun of a home expense and the
cost of it. Plumbing: high in cost, low in fun. After several hours, the
plumbers had installed and capped off a new intake pipe and an outtake pipe. (I
thought outtakes were at the end of movies, when actors say the wrong line and
laugh. Shows what I know about plumbing. Zero.)
The plumbers are due back next week to put some kind of
magic liner in the pipes to prevent this problem from happening again. They use
a spray that becomes a liner, and hopefully this is the end of our plumbing
perplexities. It could have been worse, actually. Our neighbors across the
street had to have their kitchen tile removed so that the plumbers could access
pipes under the kitchen floor for this same reason.
Plumbing: the appendix of home-ownership. You don’t even
think about it until it starts giving you excruciating pain. You can have your
appendix removed with a pile of money and some abdominal pain, and you’ll never
miss it. Plumbing, on the other hand, requires a pile of money, pain to your
wallet, and if you live without it, you will miss it. Ahhh, home ownership.
What an adventure…
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