Samples from recent discussions with the kids while I pack lunches for school:
Me: R, I’m packing tomorrow’s lunch. Do you still like granola bars?
Him: No. Well, sometimes. I don’t know.
Me: Hmmmm. Well, you need energy during the school day. If I pack a granola bar, will you eat it?
Me: Okay. Now, how about apples?
Him: Not if it is whole. Maybe if it’s cut up. But then it looks funky. So maybe not.
Me: Hmmmm. Will you eat dry cheerios in a bag?
Me: Carrot sticks?
Him: Not sure.
Him: Only the small twisted ones. No pretzel sticks. They taste different.
Me: What? They’re made from the same dough. So, do you have bag of twisty pretzels?
Him: Yes, but it’s empty. I finished them. I was starving. I’m a growing kid!
Me: Since you hate milk, should I pack water?
Him: Yes, but not in a plastic water bottle. It tastes weird. Only a metal water bottle.
Me: We don’t have one anymore. Could you make do with a plastic bottle for one more day?
Him: (Sigh.) Okay. But don’t blame me if I come home dehydrated!
Me: (Sigh.) Where’s your sister? Oh, there you are, S. Let’s talk lunches. Will you eat pretzels?
Me: French bread?
Me: Turkey Pepperoni?
Her: Eeewwww, gross!
Me: You loved it last month.
Her: It’s revolting, stuff that pigs in a pen wouldn’t consider consuming.
Me: Fruit leather?
Me: Carrot sticks?
Her: Only if the peel is removed, it’s sliced and the green part in the center is carefully removed from each slice.
Me: Oh, please. There will be only ¼” of apple left if I remove the center and the peel. String cheese?
Her: Depends. Is today’s date an even or odd day?
Me: I have no idea. My brain stopped working two years ago.
Her: I have a solution. I’ll buy from the lunch truck every day.
Me: Not going to happen. Occasionally, yes, but not daily. You need healthy stuff, and variety.
Her: French fries are healthy, right?
Me: Healthier than pop rocks candy, I suppose. But not at the top of my list.
Her: I don’t want to bring a lunch at all. I don’t need lunch.
Me: You’re a growing kid. Your brain needs food while you’re at school...Now, what happened to the lunch boxes? They were here a minute ago...