School Lunches 101

Samples from recent discussions with the kids while I pack lunches for school:

 

Me: R, I’m packing tomorrow’s lunch. Do you still like granola bars?

Him: No. Well, sometimes. I don’t know.

Me: Hmmmm. Well, you need energy during the school day. If I pack a granola bar, will you eat it?

Him: Maybe.

Me: Okay. Now, how about apples?

Him: Not if it is whole. Maybe if it’s cut up. But then it looks funky. So maybe not.

Me: Hmmmm. Will you eat dry cheerios in a bag?

Him: Nah.

Me: Carrot sticks?

Him: Not sure.

Me: Pretzels?

Him: Only the small twisted ones. No pretzel sticks. They taste different.

Me: What? They’re made from the same dough. So, do you have bag of twisty pretzels?

Him: Yes, but it’s empty. I finished them. I was starving. I’m a growing kid!

Me: Since you hate milk, should I pack water?

Him: Yes, but not in a plastic water bottle. It tastes weird. Only a metal water bottle.

Me: We don’t have one anymore. Could you make do with a plastic bottle for one more day?

Him: (Sigh.) Okay. But don’t blame me if I come home dehydrated!

Me: (Sigh.) Where’s your sister? Oh, there you are, S. Let’s talk lunches. Will you eat pretzels?

Her: No.

Me: French bread?

Her: Maybe.

Me: Turkey Pepperoni?

Her: Eeewwww, gross!

Me: You loved it last month.

Her: It’s revolting, stuff that pigs in a pen wouldn’t consider consuming.

Me: Fruit leather?

Her: No.

Me: Carrot sticks?

Her: Never.

Me: Apples?

Her: Only if the peel is removed, it’s sliced and the green part in the center is carefully removed from each slice.

Me: Oh, please. There will be only ¼” of apple left if I remove the center and the peel. String cheese?

Her: Depends. Is today’s date an even or odd day?

Me: I have no idea. My brain stopped working two years ago.

Her: I have a solution. I’ll buy from the lunch truck every day.

Me: Not going to happen. Occasionally, yes, but not daily. You need healthy stuff, and variety.

Her: French fries are healthy, right?

Me: Healthier than pop rocks candy, I suppose. But not at the top of my list.

Her: I don’t want to bring a lunch at all. I don’t need lunch.

Me: You’re a growing kid. Your brain needs food while you’re at school...Now, what happened to the lunch boxes? They were here a minute ago...