I Survived Gum Surgery…But the Post-Op Stinks

If you’re over forty, you know that aging is not for wimps. Just ask my receding gums.

(Please note that while I complain about all this, I truly am grateful for good health and great dental care! This is not a bid for sympathy. I’m in almost no pain. This post is just a good excuse for me to laugh about the delicate art of aging. What’s that old saying? When life gives you gum drama, make gumballs. Or write a funny blog post.)

Why do gums recede? Lots of reasons. I am a teeth grinder (and I wear a night guard to counteract it, but apparently grinding can tamper with gums). It may be partly hereditary. It may be due to that important force called gravity.

As I said to my sister a few years ago, gravity is never a woman’s best friend. Yes, I knew that as I age, certain body parts would relocate themselves a few inches lower than where they started. I can’t say I accepted that with grace, but I knew it would happen. But my gums?

Surgery itself wasn’t bad. It happened on Valentine’s Day, which is not a super important day for Hubby and me. We do a little something for each other but it’s not sacred to us. Still, he cooked my favorite dinner and dessert. I appreciated his thoughtfulness and mumbled my thanks as I iced my face.

I have been the recipient of gum surgery three times in the last six years. The first time was an invasive surgery for the receding gums behind my lower teeth. The second and third surgeries were far less invasive due to a different technique, and this was for the receding gums in front of my lower teeth.

The bad news is that with my swollen chin I looked like a cross between a Garibaldi and Popeye. Not the look most ladies aspire to on Valentine’s Day, but as you know, I like to do things my own way.

The good news is that if you buy nine gum surgeries, the tenth is free! (Kidding.) I knew that gum surgery is not a permanent fix, but even the dentist was surprised that I needed it only two years after he did it before. (To be fair, it’s not an identical surgery. He did the right side and middle before, and this time it was left and middle. And don't worry--this dentist is not swindling me. We've gone to the same practice for more than a decade and they are awesome.) I guess my aggressive brushing style didn’t exactly help the gums to stay put, but in my defense, I thought a gentle brushing style would not do the job.

Anyway, the surgery was okay but the post-op “lifestyle” cramps my ways. I’d forgotten that for six weeks following surgery there is:

• ·         No big smiling. WHAT???? I’m an expressive person. I’m not a robot. This is going to be hard.
• ·         No crunchy or sticky food. EXCUSE ME? Soft foods? What am I, an infant? The best foods are crunchy and sticky. I’d completely forgotten the “No-no” list from two years ago. Sigh.
• ·         No side-sleeping. Again, major problem. I have been a side-sleeper my whole life.
• ·         No big laughs, no looking at the gums, no pressing or touching them, no facial massage.
• ·         No eating on the left side. No opening wide. (Eating takes a lot longer now, as you’d imagine.)

The dentist recommended that I take Arnica to reduce swelling. I ran out so I popped into Sprouts to get more. Immediately all the crunchy and forbidden foods in the store called out to me, taunting me from behind an invisible barrier. Granola? Nope. Nuts? Sorry. Caramels? Forget it. Corn on the cob? Not yet. Apples? Try apple sauce. I actually did buy some cashews in bulk and later I’m going to try making cashew butter. But on principle I’m miffed that my eating and sleeping options have been altered. I’m not in much pain but the swelling makes things awkward and the lengthy list of stuff I can’t do has me irritable. Still, it could be worse, and I’m grateful that my teeth and I have coexisted happily for decades. So if we cross paths over the next five and a half weeks, you’ll see me delicately placing tiny bites of food into the right side of my mouth, using a long fondue fork. But once I pass the six week mark I’ll be smiling and laughing a lot, just because I finally can, and I’m going to eat crunchy foods and sleep on my side and shout as loud as I can. So if you have gums that behave, appreciate them. Give a big smile and laugh big and go eat a caramel. Do it for me….