Thursday, July 29, 2021

El on Wheels

Sometimes I talk to someone and think, Wow, this person has amazing life stories. I should make this an interview for my blog. My friend Ellen L is the subject of today’s interview. She’s a spicy transplant from New York, although she has called San Diego home since 1975. For thirty years Ellen drove a cab, and she always wears bold earrings and at least ten colors at once. She’s funny, independent and eclectic. I recently emailed to ask if I could interview her for my blog. Mere seconds after I sent the email, Ellen replied and said she was all in. And that should tell you a lot about this fearless lady. She’s spunky and up for adventure. Let the interview begin.

I arrive at Ellen’s house and she calls a greeting through the screen door. Her voice is full of personality. It has a little bit of a New York flavor to it—a sensibility rather than a strong accent. Ellen grins at me and her eyes twinkle. She’s wearing oversized, two-toned eyeglasses, beaded, multicolored earrings, and pink and orange from head to toe. We make our way to the back patio and settle into red chairs. The wind chimes are making peaceful sounds in the breeze, we start gabbing and our reunion begins.

Sarah C: I entitled our interview “El on Wheels” because you spent thirty years driving a taxi around San Diego and you are a senior who rode as a passenger on motorcycles for thousands of miles. You’re opinionated, confident, and not watching life from the sidelines. How do you see yourself?

Ellen L: Bold, but also calm, and a peacenik. I’m fun to be with and a good listener.

SC: How did you get into the cab driving profession and what did you love about it?

EL: It was 1978 and I had moved from New York to San Diego a few years before. My job as a bank teller was feeling stale and so I opened up the Classifieds and started looking for something different. I’d always loved to drive so I looked under “D” and found a listing for “Yellow Cab needs drivers.” It ended up being a wonderful mix of two things I loved: driving and interacting with people. My passengers liked that I was interested in them and they called me for regular rides. One older lady asked me to come into her doctor appointments as a second set of ears. I had real friendships with people I drove again and again.  

SC: Driving a taxi as a woman involved a degree of risk. Were you ever scared and how did you handle that?

EL: I had a few bad rides but I never let fear stop me. 99% of the time, the rides were smooth sailing. I’d take people to the airport or to their doctor. There were a few times when I got a sixth sense that something was off, like the time I suspected that a car was following me. I pulled over, and the other vehicle did, too. I walked up to the driver and asked why he was following me. He said they were searching for a bank robber. When the police removed the passenger from my cab, they found drugs hidden under the back seat. No one was hurt but it certainly rattled me, and I went home early that day. Yet, most of my passengers were decent people and I loved talking with them. The few bad experiences did not tempt me to stop driving. By my choice, my taxi meter went dark in 2008. Fares were becoming harder to get. Town Cars were everywhere, getting our jobs. I actually drove a Town Car for a while before Uber became available, but the transportation business had changed and I decided it was time to retire.

Ellen during her stint as a Town Car driver.

SC: Have you always liked driving?

EL: I’ve always loved being in cars. When I was a kid on Long Island, my dad took us on drives every Sunday. My maternal grandpa was a cabbie, although I was never in his cab. I am really comfortable behind the wheel. We took cross-country trips from New York to California when I was a kid, and so cars and travel have been a large part of my life since birth.

SC: You have traveled on a motorcycle with your husband Joe. What is the longest trip you took with him?

EL: We did lots of short trips, like from San Diego to Las Vegas or Phoenix. Our longest was from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, to San Diego, which is 1,600 miles and took four days. It was hailing in the Canadian Rocky Mountains on the fourth of July, and that was enough for me! Joe often rode his motorcycle to Navy reunions in various states, and I would fly out to meet him and we rode back together.

SC: Were people surprised when they realized two seniors dressed in leather were zooming up on a Harley?

EL: Sometimes, but people focused more on Joe’s bike than on our age. When they saw how Joe had customized his machine with 1,475 studs (attached with epoxy), people often asked to take a photo. Joe customizes everything at our home. His personalized license plates, decorations and mementos are everywhere from the pink front door to the back porch, which is sprinkled with unusual lights, funny quotes and whatever we find intriguing.

SC: Did you and Joe meet because of motorcycles?

EL: No, and he didn’t have one when we met. But he rode an Indian motorcycle as a young man in the Navy. He always loved tinkering with motorcycles and other machines.

SC: How did you meet Joe?

EL: We met in 1981, thanks to my mom, who moved to San Diego a few years before I did. After Joe’s Navy years, he became an appliance repairman. He fixed several of my mom’s appliances and she thought he was a really special guy. We both were single parents (Joe had two sons and I had three kids) and my mom thought our personalities would mesh well. Our first date was at Love’s Wood Pit Barbecue in Mission Valley and we had an immediate connection. We’ve been together ever since.

SC: What is your philosophy on aging?

EL: I don’t relate to it. We’re in our eighties but mentally, I’m eighteen! Of course, my knees creak, but I ignore the aches and pains, and I’m active. Acupressure helps, as does stretching each morning in our hot tub at home. I bike, I walk a lot, and I swim three times a week. I’m keeping the rust from settling!

SC: Were you always active?

EL: Actually, I’ve changed and grown a lot in my adult life. At age thirty-four I began an emotional, spiritual and physical journey. I’d always carried extra weight, and I decided to start taking care of my body more, as well as my soul. This was the beginning of my metamorphosis. I became healthier, and I learned to be more assertive. I began wearing bright colors like pink and orange, and became more outgoing.

SC: It’s hard to picture you as anything but outgoing. What were you like as a child?

EL: I was withdrawn, not a talker. As the oldest of four kids, I felt responsible for others. I got my sense of dependability from my dad, and my desire to help people from my mom. Starting at thirteen, I worked as a mother’s helper, babysat for neighboring families, and that summer I worked in a nearby day camp. These were great experiences and prepared me for becoming a mom. I married young and had three great kids: Shari, Wendi and Jeffrey.

SC: What was your hometown like?

EL: I grew up in Far Rockaway, on Long Island, NY, a small seaside town, where we knew everybody. Frank was our local bus driver on the same route for years. We rode with him to the beautiful beaches on the Atlantic coast. Our mailman was Tommy and our shoemaker was Dominick. We kids roller skated and biked and played with each other all day long. The neighborhood was very safe. We trusted all of our neighbors. I lived in the same apartment from age four until I married. I think that growing up trusting others, and believing that those around me were good, must have led me to feel hope rather than fear when I became a cab driver. Rather than being scared of the unknown, I trusted that things would work out.

SC: Before driving the cab, you worked in banks in Manhattan and San Diego. 

EL: Yes, I love numbers, so banks were a logical fit for that aspect of myself. But the banks where I worked in San Diego had a much slower vibe than the ones in New York. I needed a change, and the taxi gave me that. During my cabbie years I also began volunteering at the San Diego Visitor Center in Horton Plaza. It was so much fun and extremely rewarding to assist thousands of visitors. In those years, they had a short pamphlet from the airport, with all the flight times listed on it. If someone in my cab missed their flight, we looked at the pamphlet for upcoming departures. Volunteering was the same. We volunteers thought outside the box. If someone missed boarding their cruise ship, one of the volunteers found a way to fly them to the next port so they could board. Volunteering was about solving problems, and I put a personal touch on what I did. The center closed about eight years ago, but the group of us who volunteered still had reunions a couple of times a year. Once it is safe to meet again, we will continue our reunions.

SC: Speaking of COVID, connecting socially is important to you. How did you fare during this pandemic?

EL: We’ve done really well, luckily. I make it a point to get out, to be active, and to keep my mind nimble. Although the pool where I swam closed for a while, it has reopened. I continued to walk a lot. I missed the library when it closed so I began subscribing to the Union Tribune newspaper online. I printed their crossword puzzles and Sudoku to keep my mind energized. We have a few favorite television programs, like Jeopardy, Blue Bloods and Bull.

SC: Bull is about a man who analyzes potential jurors. I think the show feeds your appetite for learning about people. You’re not driving the cab anymore, but you still are fascinated by people. 

EL: True!

SC: Since we all spent more time at home last year, did you cook more?

EL: No! I’m the worst cook in the world. Joe asked me not to cook for him anymore! (She cackles.) But I do make a great vegetable soup and salads are my specialty.

SC: Your kitchen is beautiful! It’s small but packed with personality, with red countertops and backsplash, a red vintage stove, and red and pink tiles. Even the microwave is red. There are murals on the kitchen walls and ceilings, as well as in the bathroom. How would you describe your home?

EL: Playland! (Playland is an amusement park, built in 1928 in Rye, NY, near our home on the Rockaway Peninsula.) Our home is fun, comfortable and colorful. Joe loves color! There are personal touches everywhere. (She points to a poster made by her grandkids, hanging on the living room wall. It reads “Happy Birthday, Grinella!”)

SC: You nicknamed yourself “Granella” when you became a grandmother. What’s the backstory?

EL: I didn’t feel old enough to be a typical “Grandma” so I mixed “Gran” with “Ellen” and came up with “Granella.” Eventually the name changed to “Grinella,” which I love. I have four grandkids, Joe has four, and we have eight great-grandkids.

SC: Family connection is important to you. Before the pandemic you used to take yearly trips with your sister to various countries. Do you have a favorite destination?

EL: San Diego is truly my favorite place in the world. But as far as trips go, my first trip with my sister is memorable. This was twenty years ago, or so. We went to Budapest, Prague and Vienna, and stayed in Bed and Breakfasts in people’s homes. Meeting the locals scratched my itch to interact with others from different parts of the world. We liked the small towns rather than the touristy spots. I loved researching where to go and what to do. Other trips I’ve enjoyed include Ireland, England, France, Canada, Mexico and New Zealand.

SC: When COVID-19 is far behind us, what are you looking forward to doing?

EL: I am excited to do a siblings reunion again. My sister lives in San Diego but our two brothers live in Greenwich Village, NYC, and in Rhode Island. Before the pandemic, the four of us used to meet each year in different places. I’m ready for that reunion again!

SC: Is there a quote that you like or that embodies your philosophy on life?

EL: We create our own reality. 



Ellen has created her own unique reality, and she is living her dream. She’s happy, active and curious, and brings light and humor everywhere she goes. It was such fun to chat with Ellen and to hear more of this delightful lady’s stories.

Everyone has interesting stories to share--even the people who think they don’t--and I love learning about people: their pasts, their personalities and their passions.

Thank you to my fun-loving friend Ellen. You inspire me to be fearless, and you brighten my life. Keep sparkling, El!

14 comments:

  1. I love her! What a great life! thank you for sharing!

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  2. Hey Adri, oh, thank you! She is fascinating, and I'm happy that you thought so, too...

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  3. I loved reading this! She's quite an inspiration!
    Roxanne

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  4. Roxie, thank you! She really is a force!!!

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  5. What a great interview of a truly amazing and inspiring lady! I LOVE Ellen and hope to get to meet her. How did YOU meet her?

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  6. Debby, thank you! Isn't she fun? We met at a writing class 12 years ago.

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  7. Your friend Ellen is an inspiration! Thanks for sharing her with your readers.

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    1. Hi Mary, thank you! So glad you liked her story. I think she's incredible!

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  8. I loved this! Hmmm, I've done the numbers job...does that mean I should look into being a cabbie? Heh. I'm not sure if any of my friends would allow me to get on a motorcycle though...they speak often of getting me a bubble-wrap suit...

    I just had a lovely bday conversation with my xMIL (82!) who ALSO lives in San Diego and...is it the water? Because she sounds so much like Ellen. She grew up in SD though and still meets up with her various groups via Zoom! I definitely hope I'm as adventurous as either Ellen or MJ when I get older.

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  9. Hey Wonder Woman! I think you will be doing all kinds of fun things in your 80s. We'll just have to compare notes 40 years from now!!!!

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  10. Wow. What an amazing woman. What a life! I like her saying, that one creates one's own reality. I think that is very true, and is very wise. She definitely is inspiring! Sounds like she loves, life, and has made every minute count. I applaud her! Yay, to Ellen!

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    1. Hi Helen,
      I agree! She is such a wonderful, brave lady and I'm glad you found her story as amazing as I did. Thanks!

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  11. I really loved reading this! It was very well written and every word about Ellen is true - she is unique, fun, colorful and a joyful person!

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    1. Oh, thank you, Jill! That means so much--so glad you liked it. And yes, she is a firecracker!

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