Skunk in the Bunk

She’s been sprayed!

She is our sweet dog, Bella, and she had a skunk encounter tonight. Technically, the skunk was not in any bunks. But the skunk smell wafted throughout several rooms of the house, including bedrooms, so I’m justifying the title of this post that way. Also, it’s my blog and I can name posts what I want! (PS: I’ve earned it after the skunk drama.)

We adopted Bella almost three years ago from a rescue organization. She came already named (a new name chosen by the organization). I wanted to name her something funny like “Spike” or “Jaws” but I didn’t want to give her a third name to learn, so Bella remained her name. But I digress.

In our nearly three years together we have not had a skunk situation. We live a few blocks from canyons, so maybe we should count our lucky stars that she hasn’t been sprayed before now. But all that changed in an instant. Around seven pm I let Bella out for her nightly run around the backyard. Suddenly, she’s racing back toward me and I instantly smell that unmistakable stench of skunk. She’s rubbing her face against the ground again and again, and I realize she’s been sprayed in the face and is trying to rub away the pain. I call for help from my middle kiddo, technically the owner of the dog, and Google “Skunk spray to a dog’s face.” The article recommends putting a wet cloth to the dog’s face or eyes. Right. Have you met this dog? She doesn’t do anything I want her to, so my comical attempts to wet her face are met with racing in circles, running outside (toward the skunk?!), and general disobedience. It’s like negotiating with a two-year-old. Not possible.

We decide to spray Bella down outside with the garden hose, mindful to steer clear of the gigantic spider spinning a web nearby (the one I almost walked into a few days ago. It’s at face level, naturally). Bella loves the hose, so this helps not only with getting the skunk oil out of her eyes but hopefully off her fur, too.

I take a one minute break to text my nextdoor neighbors for advice, since their dog recently was sprayed by a skunk. Wonderful neighbors they are, they deliver skunk shampoo within a few minutes.

We move our party from the yard to the bathroom. We start giving her a sponge bath, being careful not to get the shampoo in her eyes, which are already red and irritated. She is happily bribed to be washed since there are two cooked hamburgers in a plastic bag on the edge of the sink. The burgers were already on the sink, if you must know. That’s where I always keep hamburgers. Don’t you? Okay, truthfully they were in the fridge but I was happy that I had them cooked and ready to go—because when you are having a SSS (skunk stench situation) you don’t pause to cook burgers. At least I don’t.

As we were cleaning the dog, and laughing about this strange turn of events, it occurred to me that a combination hamburger stand/dog wash station has untapped potential. No one has capitalized on this yet. (If someone reading this ends up building one, I insist on being paid at least twenty dollars for the idea.) “Skunk ‘n' Grub” could be its name. Although, it doesn’t have to be only about skunk spray emergencies—it could be just for routine dog washes. Maybe “Suds ‘n' Grub.” If you’re vegetarian you could go to its sister franchise, “Suds ‘n' Spuds,” for delicious fries made from happy potatoes, grown in organic soil under majestic blue Idaho skies. $14.99 buys your dog a wash/dry and you all the tasty fries you can eat.

Anyway, we washed the dog and her eyes seemed a lot better. Bella shook the water from her coat several times during our rinse down, so now I don’t need to take the bath I’d planned. In related news, our bathroom floor looks a lot shinier than it was yesterday. And Bella’s coat is also shinier than it was yesterday. We used the blow drier on her a little bit, and brushed her fur while it dried. For her spa treatments, she lay regally on several towels, pleased to have not one but two humans doting on her. (As it should be, I could hear her thinking.) 

Her eyes were red from the spray but she is happily sleeping now. 

The timing of tonight’s Surprise Shower is amusing for two reasons. First: I actually pondered taking Bella to the DIY dog wash place today. She was overdue for a wash. But I had lots of art to grade and decided to put off the trip another day or two. Now I’ve saved myself a trip if Bella’s home bath takes care of the skunky residue. Truthfully, timing is rarely on my side. I’ve often washed my car the day before it rains. In keeping with this trend, a skunk spraying would happen a few hours after I’d taken the dog to be washed. This particular episode marks a change from how things often work in my crazy world (“Sarah’s Shenanigans,” as my friend Nicole aptly named them). I’m not saying I’m thrilled about the spraying, but timing was somehow on my side. This one time.

The other interesting piece of timing is that Hubby is on a work trip. My mom always joked that disasters happened only when my dad was out of town, so we are keeping the family tradition alive. But seriously, if there is a silver lining in all this (besides the clean bathroom floor, blog post inspiration, and idea for Suds ‘n' Grub), it’s this: if Hubby had been here, I would have yelled for help and he would have helped immediately. But because he wasn’t here, I handled it on my own. I used to doubt whether I could handle unexpected trouble. I used to think other people had better ideas about how to handle problems. Luckily, over time my confidence has grown. I think some of us often underestimate ourselves. Obviously, this wasn’t a dire situation like carrying an injured person off of Half Dome and performing emergency surgery on the way down with nothing but a few safety pins and a flashlight. But these unexpected situations are a good reminder to me that I can handle things I haven’t encountered before. I wish I’d spent less time second-guessing myself over the years. Still, I’m proving to myself that I can handle the unanticipated.

So that is the tale of a lifted skunk tail, and the trouble that followed. It’s not a fairy tale, but it does have a happy ending in that Bella survived her skunk encounter and we did, too. After her bath, she soon returned to her happy self, snoozing in her favorite spot. I’ll check with the vet tomorrow to see if there is anything else we need to do. As for me, I have a dozen towels to wash, but that’s okay. And on the plus side, the lingering smell of skunk in the house distracts one’s eye from all the dusty surfaces!