Weed Between the Lines

 

You: Sarah, what was the best part of your weekend?

Me: Well, we had a fun picnic Saturday but what really got me going was weeding.

You: Where’s your thermometer? Clearly you are feverish and speaking nonsense.

Me: No, really. I did a ton of weeding and it was satisfying!

You: This is a new low for you, my friend. Weeding made your weekend?

Me: Listen, you don’t understand. I’m not talking about a few weeds. I’m talking about a mountain of them! I filled the green recycling bin, plus two extra trash cans (which I will transfer into kind neighbors’ green recycling containers). It was CRAZY! I spent 90 minutes on it. I actually see a difference in the yard. Trust me, this was gratifying. These weeds have been mocking me for ages, heckling me, sneering that I will never get to them. But I did. I raked up leaves that have been sitting there for years. This was a victory!

You: Wow. I guess in a really strange, not very exciting way, I can understand your point. A little.

Me: Weeding is the new disco. Weeding: the new texting. Weeding: better than the Internet.

You: Now you’ve gone too far. Citizen’s arrest!