The Pumpkin Stops Here

There might be yelling, cursing, and even chair-throwing. But we both know it must be done. We need to have a frank discussion about all this pumpkin spiced everything.
 

You’ve noticed it, too, haven’t you? It’s everywhere. Halloween is five weeks from today, and yet it feels like the pumpkin people are doing the full-court press, assaulting us with pumpkin flavor. By the time Halloween week arrives, the air will be tinged orange. The nation will be permeated with the smell of spiced pumpkin. It will cling to our nostrils, saturate our clothes, and hover in our homes the way a smoky smell does, hours after you accidentally burned something in the oven. The pumpkin frenzy will be at a fevered pitch by the time October 31 finally rolls around. I love Halloween, but people, it’s only September. I’m already sick of the pumpkin-spice-this and spiced-pumpkin-that. This madness must stop.

I will admit that I’m not the biggest fan of pumpkin flavor. One bite of pumpkin pie is enough to last me a year. (I love carving pumpkins and decorating them and dressing up in pumpkin-themed clothes. I’m a costume lover, in case you don’t know, so my problem isn’t with Halloween. I just feel like I’m being hit over the head with pumpkin flavor.) I was in a store two days ago and noticed how many pumpkin flavored items there were. A blog idea started forming and the following day I went to another store to compare the availability. This is what I saw:

Pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin scented candles, pumpkin cake mix, pumpkin coffee creamer and pumpkin Greek yogurt. Pumpkin flavored cream cheese. Pumpkin ale. Pumpkin cookie dough. Pumpkin tea. Pumpkin lollipops. Pumpkin spice chocolate bars. Pumpkin spice marshmallows. Pumpkin spice Peeps marshmallows. 

Apparently one major chain will have pumpkin body butter, pumpkin butter, pumpkin waffles and Pumpkin ravioli. Once I started digging online I found that in some places they sell pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin Pringles (really?), and pumpkin M&Ms. Enough’s enough.

Where will it end?

Pumpkin flavored toothpaste and mouthwash?

Pumpkin scented shaving cream and deodorant?

“Fall for Fall” Pumpkin Perfume, brought to you by the Kardashians?

Pumpkin flavored gum?

Pumpkin barbeque sauce?

Pumpkin potato salad?

Pumpkin salsa?

Pumpkin scented cereal?

Pumpkin flavored Craisins?

Pumpkin mozzarella?

Pumpkin Coke?

Pumpkin scented garbage bags?

Pumpkin scented cat litter?

Pumpkin scented baby wipes?

Pumpkin scented diapers? (When baby makes a mess in the diaper, the aroma of pumpkin wafts out.)

Sorry if I sound like Grumpy McGrumperson, whining about pumpkins. Hey, everyone should be able to use pumpkin scented or flavored items if they want to. It just shocks me how many products roll out the seasonal pumpkin theme this time of year. In March, no one is selling green mayonnaise or green whipped cream for St. Patrick’s Day. Nothing becomes egg flavored right before Easter. But the market researchers must have concluded that Americans are passionate about pumpkins and  we will buy orange, seasonal versions of the products we like. Who knew that Americans are so obsessed with pumpkins? Perhaps it’s the “seasonal” label. Maybe this creates an urgency in shoppers—“Fred!!! We must buy this NOW! It’ll be gone in two months. It’s a limited edition! I NEEEEED it!!!!!!!” Nothing like telling someone they can’t have something after a certain date to ramp up the desire for it. Limited availability? Gimme!

Well, I think I got out my aggression by writing this diatribe. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. No more pumpkin bashing. Pumpkins, I may have gotten a little mad, but I still like your cheerful orange color and visiting you at the pumpkin farm. I’ll still watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown next month. Pumpkins, you’ve never hurt me. Maybe I’m being too harsh. There’s just been an oversaturation of your flavor. But can we still be friends?