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Friday, August 23, 2013

Seen and Heard

If you have not seen or heard from me lately, there’s good reason. I am mid-project (well, not quite mid-way, truth be told). House projects tend to change shape as soon as you start them. Like an accordion, they grow to many times the size you thought they were originally. So by “mid-project,” I mean I’ve started, I’m not finished and I have no idea how close or far I am from finishing.

Doing your own house projects is like being stuck in quicksand. (I imagine.) You feel a sense of doom and don’t know how to get out of the situation you’re in. They tell you not to panic if you ever find yourself in quicksand. Really? How do I not panic under those circumstances? If anyone has figured that out, please send me the answer immediately. Enclose with it a rope attached to a Sequoia tree, so that I can pull myself out of the quicksand/house project mess in which I am stuck. Thank you in advance.
Oh, if I step back I can see I’m making progress. But it’s still stressful. Let me share some of what has been seen and heard around here lately:

·         “Is the pry bar supposed to make such big gouges in the wall?”

·         “What do you mean there are funky tiles from the ‘60s under our carpet? I have to take them up? You didn’t tell me that when you described this project as a piece of cake.”

·         “No, I’m not finished yet. I’d tell you how UNfinished I am but I wouldn’t want to depress you.”

·         “The scent I’m wearing? A mix of latex paint, sweat, and exasperation.”

·         Older houses have character instead of storage. Older Sarah has wrinkles because of projects in older houses with character instead of storage.

·         “Sarah, is that tower an art piece comprised of found objects?” “No, it’s a giant pile of displaced stuff from the room I’m painting. If it topples over let’s declare it art and entitle ‘Fallen Hopes.’ “

It’s still just a rumor but there’s a possibility that painting will be finished today. This means we can lay down the Pergo this weekend and be noticeably closer to 1/3 of the way finished with the two-room switch. Oh, I’m giddy with anticipation. But…what if it’s just a mirage? What if I’m not close to finishing the painting of the first room? Panic. Breathe. In. Out. Repeat.

Keep calm and carry on. (And keep painting.)

1 comment:

  1. Dear Wifey,

    This project is all my fault. It really is. Keep up the good work.



    ps: Did I mention that it was all my fault?